1)Your confidence in yourself as a parent:-
Although the link I've attached to this point is pretty self explanatory, there are still a few tid-bits worth mentioning. To put it simply... "how do we as parents expect our children to obey, respect and have confidence in us, if we have no confidence in ourselves as parents."
For every new mom, parhaps one of the most akward transitions you can make infront of your own parents is the act of becoming a parent yourselves. We tend to have all these 'ideas' and 'missions' growing up. "Oh I'll never dress as funny as my mom did!" or "I'll never be as strict as my mom with my kids. I'll be more fun!" or "I'll never make my poor baby girls wear those aweful scratchy frilly socks I had to wear". And when the bomb drops, and we become moms ourselves, all these 'ambitions' become so silly, and we now become mature functional adults by force. We inevitably turn into our parents. We now understand why mom wore those funny long maybe rainbow coloured 'dashiki' looking gowns at home, it's because they really are comfortable and when you're a mom 'comfortable' is always more appealing than 'stylish'. You also now understand why mom seemed so strict at times. It's because she loved you and wanted you to turn into the best person that you could be. You now understand why she didn't want mud pies in the house! I mean it seemed like a good idea to you at 4 or 5 years old, but who do you think had to clean up the mess afterwards?
So the point being made here, is that yes we all start off with this aim to be the perfect mom, but many of us tend to 'chicken out' when we realise just how amazing our own mom really was. It's only after you have your own child that you truly appreciated everything that your own mom did for you. And while this is wonderful and a blessing from Allah(Swt), it is also the point at which you as the new mom have to make a decision! Are you going to:-
1) Follow your instincts and try to be the great mom to your kids that your mom was to you INshaa Allah?
2) OR just ask your mom what to do on everything regarding the new baby and let her make all the important decisions?
Too many moms these days fall into category TWO and they lose that ability to follow their maternal instincts. So much so, that 'grandma' has to take over! Grandma now becomes the primary caregiver to her new grandchild and you just wallow there thinking 'I can't manage these kids on my own!! What will I do without my mom?!!?!'. You tend to lose respect and confidence in yourself and then it reflects in all aspects of motherhood. And worse yet, your children have no respect for you either because you project yourself as a 'push-over' essentially. Trust me when I say that children know how to detect 'push-overs'. We should always project ourselves to our children and strong-minded, independant and ambitious adults. Every mother should be a role model to her daughters INshaa Allah and the same particularly goes for sons and fathers....Be a fun quacky mom, but also be a no-nonesense mummy! Have balance within the home. Don't allow the words of others to affect your confidence in yourself as a mother Inshaa Allah. Make dua to Allah(swt) to give you the strength you need to take care of your children and to raise them as strong minded and God-fearing Muslims.
Although the link I've attached to this point is pretty self explanatory, there are still a few tid-bits worth mentioning. To put it simply... "how do we as parents expect our children to obey, respect and have confidence in us, if we have no confidence in ourselves as parents."
For every new mom, parhaps one of the most akward transitions you can make infront of your own parents is the act of becoming a parent yourselves. We tend to have all these 'ideas' and 'missions' growing up. "Oh I'll never dress as funny as my mom did!" or "I'll never be as strict as my mom with my kids. I'll be more fun!" or "I'll never make my poor baby girls wear those aweful scratchy frilly socks I had to wear". And when the bomb drops, and we become moms ourselves, all these 'ambitions' become so silly, and we now become mature functional adults by force. We inevitably turn into our parents. We now understand why mom wore those funny long maybe rainbow coloured 'dashiki' looking gowns at home, it's because they really are comfortable and when you're a mom 'comfortable' is always more appealing than 'stylish'. You also now understand why mom seemed so strict at times. It's because she loved you and wanted you to turn into the best person that you could be. You now understand why she didn't want mud pies in the house! I mean it seemed like a good idea to you at 4 or 5 years old, but who do you think had to clean up the mess afterwards?
So the point being made here, is that yes we all start off with this aim to be the perfect mom, but many of us tend to 'chicken out' when we realise just how amazing our own mom really was. It's only after you have your own child that you truly appreciated everything that your own mom did for you. And while this is wonderful and a blessing from Allah(Swt), it is also the point at which you as the new mom have to make a decision! Are you going to:-
1) Follow your instincts and try to be the great mom to your kids that your mom was to you INshaa Allah?
2) OR just ask your mom what to do on everything regarding the new baby and let her make all the important decisions?
Too many moms these days fall into category TWO and they lose that ability to follow their maternal instincts. So much so, that 'grandma' has to take over! Grandma now becomes the primary caregiver to her new grandchild and you just wallow there thinking 'I can't manage these kids on my own!! What will I do without my mom?!!?!'. You tend to lose respect and confidence in yourself and then it reflects in all aspects of motherhood. And worse yet, your children have no respect for you either because you project yourself as a 'push-over' essentially. Trust me when I say that children know how to detect 'push-overs'. We should always project ourselves to our children and strong-minded, independant and ambitious adults. Every mother should be a role model to her daughters INshaa Allah and the same particularly goes for sons and fathers....Be a fun quacky mom, but also be a no-nonesense mummy! Have balance within the home. Don't allow the words of others to affect your confidence in yourself as a mother Inshaa Allah. Make dua to Allah(swt) to give you the strength you need to take care of your children and to raise them as strong minded and God-fearing Muslims.
RSS Feed