AWAITING BABY#5
My little one....already praying in the womb:p
And so the journey begins...
The exciting and anxious journey of becoming the parents of five little ones Inshaa Allah...
We have officially entered into the realm of "Taboo". At least for this day and age, having more than two children will cast you into 'offical' categories, distinguished by the 'stereotypes' exsiting in our society today. How about we explore some of these:-
(1) One or Two Children - You are considered an accomplished and ideal family.
(2) Three Children - You are considered brave, but still respected as an ideal family.
(3) Four children - People start to get curious and start developing 'theories' on why you have so many children. The 'gossip' and 'talk' officially starts. You start to hear whispers in the corners, "Maybe they got careless", "Maybe they don't realise how high the cost of living is!", "They need to do some family planning before things get out of control!".
(4) Five or more Children - Well you've offically hit 'Taboo'. People don't know what to do with this information. They can either be very sweet or very cruel. It's not really because people are inherently judgemental or mean, it's really because this is not something our generation is accustomed to anymore. This was from the days of grandma and grandpa when people had ten, twelve and fourteen kids and this was the norm. In today's society however, big families are scourned and never for the same reason. Some might not like the idea because they think the kids will be neglected, some think this world is a horrible place to bring children into, some think the world is overpopulated, some think sustanance comes from your job instead of Allah(swt) and they dwell solely on the financial aspects of it, some think it's an ancient/primative way to live, some believe the romance will die in your marriage, etc.
There are many 'theories'. But if you ask most functional big families why things work for them and you try to pitch the 'grandma/grandpa' theory on them, they will simply ask you, "Well what makes you think we don't live in the exact happy way and with the same philosophies and principles our grandparents lived with?"
The world hasn't changed...people and their philosophies have changed...so if you want to live the way grandma and grandpa lived, then you need to understand their philosophies and how their family functioned.
In 'Grandma and Grandpa Days':-
- Divorce wasn't the answer to every problem.
- Families sat and ate aroud a table
- Children were not allowed to shout or raise their voices to parents.
- Children actually had chores.
- Husbands helped with the housework
- MEN were the heads of the household and wives respected their husbands!
- Financial decisions were made together as husband and wife.
- Children were considered blessings from God, not 'mistakes' from not taking your contraceptive pill.
- Sustanance came from God!!! And trust me grandma and grandpa almost never forgot that.
- Treat others they way you would like to be treated.
- Parents are role models to their children. Grandma and Grandpa led by example.
- Poverty and hardships are tests from God, not punishments.
- Friday nights are for family fun, not for 'liming with the girls' or 'boys night out'.
These rules are precious to me and are not strange to me because it's the way my siblings and I saw our parents live. They weren't like some of the other moms and dads we knew. While other dads were hanging out with the boys on Friday night, my Dad was at home helping my mom out and having tea with her in our porch, while we did our home work. They were very romantic and very kind not just to eachother but to everyone around them. My father never once 'talked-down' to my mother in a condescending way. She was always his consultant and partner in all decisions. They cooked together, they went to the parlour for bread together, they did everything together!
My mom was the kind of mom that any daughter could look up to! She still is! She was a super mom! I always felt like she could do anything! My father is the kind of man who other men look up to. Not because he is macho, but because he is a genuine, strong and natural leader who preaches honesty and goodness above all things! He never chooses the 'corrupt' or 'easy path' for the sake of 'shortcuts' and quick fixes. They lived the 'Grandma and Grandpa' way and their love for eachother and for their chidren grew over time...it never diminished... Alhamdulillah.,.
These rules are not only meant for big families, they are meant for families in general. Live this way, and I guaratee INshaa Allah, you will enjoy all aspects of family life!!!
The exciting and anxious journey of becoming the parents of five little ones Inshaa Allah...
We have officially entered into the realm of "Taboo". At least for this day and age, having more than two children will cast you into 'offical' categories, distinguished by the 'stereotypes' exsiting in our society today. How about we explore some of these:-
(1) One or Two Children - You are considered an accomplished and ideal family.
(2) Three Children - You are considered brave, but still respected as an ideal family.
(3) Four children - People start to get curious and start developing 'theories' on why you have so many children. The 'gossip' and 'talk' officially starts. You start to hear whispers in the corners, "Maybe they got careless", "Maybe they don't realise how high the cost of living is!", "They need to do some family planning before things get out of control!".
(4) Five or more Children - Well you've offically hit 'Taboo'. People don't know what to do with this information. They can either be very sweet or very cruel. It's not really because people are inherently judgemental or mean, it's really because this is not something our generation is accustomed to anymore. This was from the days of grandma and grandpa when people had ten, twelve and fourteen kids and this was the norm. In today's society however, big families are scourned and never for the same reason. Some might not like the idea because they think the kids will be neglected, some think this world is a horrible place to bring children into, some think the world is overpopulated, some think sustanance comes from your job instead of Allah(swt) and they dwell solely on the financial aspects of it, some think it's an ancient/primative way to live, some believe the romance will die in your marriage, etc.
There are many 'theories'. But if you ask most functional big families why things work for them and you try to pitch the 'grandma/grandpa' theory on them, they will simply ask you, "Well what makes you think we don't live in the exact happy way and with the same philosophies and principles our grandparents lived with?"
The world hasn't changed...people and their philosophies have changed...so if you want to live the way grandma and grandpa lived, then you need to understand their philosophies and how their family functioned.
In 'Grandma and Grandpa Days':-
- Divorce wasn't the answer to every problem.
- Families sat and ate aroud a table
- Children were not allowed to shout or raise their voices to parents.
- Children actually had chores.
- Husbands helped with the housework
- MEN were the heads of the household and wives respected their husbands!
- Financial decisions were made together as husband and wife.
- Children were considered blessings from God, not 'mistakes' from not taking your contraceptive pill.
- Sustanance came from God!!! And trust me grandma and grandpa almost never forgot that.
- Treat others they way you would like to be treated.
- Parents are role models to their children. Grandma and Grandpa led by example.
- Poverty and hardships are tests from God, not punishments.
- Friday nights are for family fun, not for 'liming with the girls' or 'boys night out'.
These rules are precious to me and are not strange to me because it's the way my siblings and I saw our parents live. They weren't like some of the other moms and dads we knew. While other dads were hanging out with the boys on Friday night, my Dad was at home helping my mom out and having tea with her in our porch, while we did our home work. They were very romantic and very kind not just to eachother but to everyone around them. My father never once 'talked-down' to my mother in a condescending way. She was always his consultant and partner in all decisions. They cooked together, they went to the parlour for bread together, they did everything together!
My mom was the kind of mom that any daughter could look up to! She still is! She was a super mom! I always felt like she could do anything! My father is the kind of man who other men look up to. Not because he is macho, but because he is a genuine, strong and natural leader who preaches honesty and goodness above all things! He never chooses the 'corrupt' or 'easy path' for the sake of 'shortcuts' and quick fixes. They lived the 'Grandma and Grandpa' way and their love for eachother and for their chidren grew over time...it never diminished... Alhamdulillah.,.
These rules are not only meant for big families, they are meant for families in general. Live this way, and I guaratee INshaa Allah, you will enjoy all aspects of family life!!!