My Taboo Little Bundle of Joy!!
Assalamu Alaikum!! What an amazing feeling! What an incredible blessing to be the parents of five healthy, darling and precious little kiddies…the latest little addition being our very first daughter. Alhamdulillah, she was born into this world with four elder brothers…four protectors…not to mention her father, who had this little lady wrapped up in every little itty-bitty piece of his heart from the moment he laid eyes on her tiny face…
However…being the first little lady to join our clan…the chick just HAD TO make an entrance!!!;)
Let’s start at the very beginning…you may wonder why I call this little sweetheart my “taboo little bundle of joy”. Well, I can’t even begin to count the amount of people who said “FIVE?!? You’re pregnant again?!!?? When are you going to stop?!? Don’t they drive you crazy?!?” I almost always laugh, roll my eyes laughingly and say “Of course they drive me crazy! But I love it!” I truly wouldn’t have it any other way and if I had to do it all over again I honestly wouldn’t change a thing.
My kids are my world…they inspire me, they bring out the child in me, they have created an, inshaa Allah, unbreakable bond between myself and my husband and as an added bonus…I GET TO PLAY WITH MUD AGAIN!! WOOHOO!!!
I felt my little Naseebah growing inside of me from the moment she was conceived…not kidding…it’s one of those things a mummy just knows. A few months down the pregnancy, I knew she was a ‘SHE’, because I was a totally different person for this pregnancy. I was insanely emotional about absolutely everything. Totally out of character! I’m usually this hard and strong, sarcastic, silly, yappy and outspoken person. But with this little girl growing in my belly, my poor husband had to walk on egg-shells because I was crying for everything. Lolz:p I even remember referring to myself as ‘unreasonably girly’ …because if it weren’t for my ‘girliness’ I would probably not have been as persistent with the doctor as to figuring out the sex of the baby. Alhamdulillah, I KNEW something was different and after four boys, the differences in this pregnancy were very very obvious.
I mentioned earlier that this little lady ‘just had to make an entrance!’ so here goes…
It was the time of year that fireworks were selling everywhere. I was officially due and decided to stop ‘trying to go into labour’ and just have a little fun. So my husband stopped at one of the tents and bought some fire crackers and ground spinners as this was safe to enjoy and lit them up! The kiddies had a blast! But apparently Naseebah was having a blast in there as well, and decided she wanted to come out and see some fireworks too!
Went to sleep that night and at about 4:00am I woke up with cramps...oops! After a few minutes I realized I was definitely in labour, woke my husband and before we knew it we were off to the birthing centre to deliver our daughter. This was the first child to be delivered at a birthing centre (with an all female staff of midwives and doulas) and not at a private hospital. I have to say at this point that my delivery of Naseebah was an incredible experience. I didn’t scream, shout or even cry once!! My doula had me completely calm throughout the entire experience and I got to experience birth from an entirely different perspective…my delivery of Naseebah was a truly beautiful thing…
Although, the trauma came after…
When Naseebah came out she wasn’t crying, moving much or doing much of anything. I noticed a change on the midwife’s face as she quickly tried to rub her down, give her oxygen and get her to breathe properly. Finally she coughed up some fluid and started to cry a little. But something still wasn’t right…she couldn’t seem to catch her breath and was making a strange grunting noise. The midwife got on the phone immediately for a consult and shortly after this she and my husband rushed her to the NICU at the hospital that was one minute away…
I think I was numb at that point…felt frozen in time…as if the world was moving all around me and I was stuck ; watching as everything passed me by. I just clutched onto the very first little outfit she barely got a chance to wear and was completely intoxicated with her newborn scent. It was a red sleeper and I will never forget that colour because coincidently up till this day, red seems to still be Naseebah’s favorite colour. I couldn’t move…it was as if my body just gave up…a few incredible blessings were realized when we now think back to that devastating day.
Firstly, I was at a birthing centre and not at the hospital, so the midwives here were trained to not just look at the medical side of birth, but at the psychological and emotional ‘before and after’ events of a birth. They realized I was starting to withdraw and turn inward a bit …she made me focus and pep-talked me right back to reality and reminded me to be strong for my little Naseebah because she needs her mummy to be strong right now. I think that did it for me! It was as if energy just suddenly got sucked back into me. Alhamdulillah I started willing myself to eat and drink as much as I could and could feel my strength coming back. My doula literally spoon-fed me back to normalcy and I was ready to go to the NICU and see my little bundle.
The second blessing was that this was the first birth we decided to do at a natural birthing centre and not a hospital. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and as such, I believe that Allah(swt) put this idea in our heads for a reason… for it was our very location that may very well have saved our daughters life! Our birthing centre was one minute away from the best and most equipped NICU in Trinidad. It was the one that all babies in distress get shipped to on that part of the country, no matter what private hospital they were born at. When I finally got a chance to speak to my husband via cellphone, he said they had Naseebah stable at the NICU, her breathing was still erratic but that she was clam. He also mentioned that she was getting worse on the way to the NICU!!! Well THANK ALLAH we were only one minute away!
I NEEDED to see her at that point… the thought of leaving her in this strange place overnight scared me to death for I have never spent a night away from my children; with the exception of going to the hospital to give birth to one of their siblings. It was time to figure out what happened. What went wrong?!? This was a perfect pregnancy, a calm and quick delivery and a beautiful, big, healthy, pink baby girl! Why couldn’t she breathe??
When my parents arrived at the birthing centre with my four little sons, they were all so excited to meet their baby sister. Their presence gave me strength that I didn’t think I was capable of at that moment. I was desperate not to worry them and the ‘mummy’ came out in me again...Thank Allah! I told them, “Baby Naseebah was born and the doctor helped take her out of my belly (pressed my clothing to show them that my belly was now flat), but the doctor carried her for a little while to check her and make sure she’s healthy and strong before she comes home inshaa Allah. She very pink and sooo pretty!” The little ones found that soo exciting and couldn’t wait to meet her, but my eldest son still has memories of his youngest brother Muadh coming home from the hospital and is very close and protective of him….he knew something was just not right….it was obvious that he could sense something odd about this whole situation...
My parents drove me to the NICU which was an unfortunate dose of added physical agony, as I could feel every bump on the road on the way to the NICU; the MAJORITY of bumps being on the entrance road to the maternity hospital!!! More disappointing that usual for a public hospital!
Upon arrival, my husband’s immediate family were already there waiting outside the NICU for news on baby Naseebah. May Allah(swt) bless them…Ameen. My husband came up to me with a jacket I didn’t recognize, as I remember thinking and feeling guilty for thinking at that very moment, “waw he looks really dreamy in that jacket”. He helped me out of the car and having just given birth he had to kind of hold me up and escort me to the NICU. My heart felt like bursting out of my chest! I NEEDED TO SEE HER! FINALLY they were ready to let us in and we rushed in. My little fighter had tubes everywhere and was breathing with her belly instead of her chest. It just broke my heart…so irritated, so helpless and still so ‘PINK’ is how we both still remember her back at the NICU days. The doctors had diagnosed her with possible pneumonia which may have been contracted while in the womb. That didn’t really seem possible, but it was the only diagnosis that fitted the symptoms at the time. They started her on antibiotics, mild oxygen support and IV fluids for nutrition. We felt so helpless seeing her like that…
They still needed to rule out any internal physical problems, couldn’t get the x-ray done yet. Why?? Well because it was raining and they couldn’t bring the machine across from the next building! Well you could only imagine how irritated we were at that point! That was the most backward thing we had ever heard, but we just had to endure the long uninformed sitting and waiting in the NICU waiting room. We kept asking and no one would tell us what was going on. We even had one nurse tell us “Well what you see is what’s going on”. I’m sorry, but am I a doctor??!?? How the heck am I supposed to know if she is okay?!? The bedside manner was aweful those first two days, with the exception of a few kind nurses who were kind enough to a least smile at us and show us the rounds, lactation room and procedure to expressing milk, etc.
BUT imagine waiting hours and hours to find out how your baby is doing and having the doctor tell you in an ARROGANT and almost shouting voice that they have no time for you right now, to wait until they have some time, and to wait by the baby’s bedside right now because they have important paperwork to do! WELL my husband nearly pulled his hair out and practically begged the woman to just tell us if she is doing better or doing worst…JUST TELL US SOMETHING! But no, she repeated arrogantly to go back and wait. What’s even worse is that we went back to wait and then that horribly insensitive doctor left the compound without saying a word to us.
So we waited hours and hours again. I started using the lactation room to express milk for my little Naseebah. We were determined to make sure I stayed on a healthy diet and express colostrum as regularly as possible to ensure that my milk came in by the time she was ready to feed, God Willing! My husband made sure I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner on time and only healthy snacking and punches in between meals. FINALLY the head of the NICU arrived and we were finally able to get a sit down with her. Her bedside manner and basic humanity was however WELL-INTACT! She answered all of our questions and took the time give us a proper explanation of what happened to our little bundle.
Apparently, I had what was called a ‘preciptuous birth’; where the time between the first contraction and delivery was less than three hours. This on its own, while rare, is not necessarily a bad thing. But sometimes, like with a c-section, 1% of newborns get what is called TTN, where they don’t get the normal squeeze they need during the birthing process. This causes the lungs to stay filled with fluids. It usually resolves within 24-48 hours, but sometimes requires a little medical assistance. They also started her on antibiotics as a precaution for the initial pneumonia diagnosis. This was a HUGE relief…the xray had come back clear and on the third day the blood tests were clear for any signs of infection. Alhamdulillah!! We were finally able to hold her and I got to breastfeed her, change her and cradle her. She was sooooooo soft and tiny and beautifulJ
We were back and forth at the hospital every three hours over the next couple days to feed her and change her. Leaving her at 10:00pm to go home was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. My husband DID NOT want to leave her there!!! It absolutely broke his heart to leave her that first day we got to hold her…
As much as we enjoyed having that freedom to be with her as much as we needed, I really really missed my little sons. I missed feeding them, bathing them and telling them their bedtime story. My parents had completely taken over with the kids so that we could be there 100% for Naseebah. May Allah(swt) protect and reward them immensely!!Ameen! I asked my mom one night on the way home from the NICU to keep the kids awake for us. I really needed to spend some time with my children… We stopped off at the grocery and got a big box of chocolates to surprise them. As soon as we pulled into the driveway we saw four little heads bobbing by the front door and window. They were all so excited! We gave them the good news that Naseebah would be coming home in one or two days. They were all completely ecstatic! We were finally starting to feel like a family of seven!!!
The final day was perhaps the most memorable… we had gotten some hope from one of the inside doctors that this would be the day our daughter would get discharged and would be returned to us. When we arrived and I finished feeding her, the doctors were about to start doing their rounds and parents were not allowed inside the NICU during this time. This usually took a really long time, so we decided to go to a nearby Panini café to celebrate while the doctors did their thing;)
My husband treated me to some tea and a crepe wrap; the wrap included whipped cream, strawberries, banana slices and chocolate syrup!! YUMMMMMMM! Soooo good! When we were almost finished eating, my mom called us all frantic and worried saying that the hospital just called home to find out where we were. Well I don’t think I ever stuffed a meal down so quickly!!! We jumped into the car and rushed back to the hospital! Upo arrival the nurse at the desk was smiling and asked us if we were ready to leave. “With the baby?!!??” I asked feeling like I was about the burst. She replied in the affirmative and I just couldn’t contain it!! My smile almost ripped my face open!lol! I called my mom immediately because I knew she would be having a panic attack worrying why the hospital was trying to call.
We got to dress her and change her, they filled out the forms and we were off!!! She was all ours!!! Sleeping contently in her little pink car seat all the way home…Alhamdulillah….
Her brothers were completely overjoyed!!! Even down to my youngest son treats her so gently like the little jewel that she is…We love you baby Naseebah…
Welcome home….:)
However…being the first little lady to join our clan…the chick just HAD TO make an entrance!!!;)
Let’s start at the very beginning…you may wonder why I call this little sweetheart my “taboo little bundle of joy”. Well, I can’t even begin to count the amount of people who said “FIVE?!? You’re pregnant again?!!?? When are you going to stop?!? Don’t they drive you crazy?!?” I almost always laugh, roll my eyes laughingly and say “Of course they drive me crazy! But I love it!” I truly wouldn’t have it any other way and if I had to do it all over again I honestly wouldn’t change a thing.
My kids are my world…they inspire me, they bring out the child in me, they have created an, inshaa Allah, unbreakable bond between myself and my husband and as an added bonus…I GET TO PLAY WITH MUD AGAIN!! WOOHOO!!!
I felt my little Naseebah growing inside of me from the moment she was conceived…not kidding…it’s one of those things a mummy just knows. A few months down the pregnancy, I knew she was a ‘SHE’, because I was a totally different person for this pregnancy. I was insanely emotional about absolutely everything. Totally out of character! I’m usually this hard and strong, sarcastic, silly, yappy and outspoken person. But with this little girl growing in my belly, my poor husband had to walk on egg-shells because I was crying for everything. Lolz:p I even remember referring to myself as ‘unreasonably girly’ …because if it weren’t for my ‘girliness’ I would probably not have been as persistent with the doctor as to figuring out the sex of the baby. Alhamdulillah, I KNEW something was different and after four boys, the differences in this pregnancy were very very obvious.
I mentioned earlier that this little lady ‘just had to make an entrance!’ so here goes…
It was the time of year that fireworks were selling everywhere. I was officially due and decided to stop ‘trying to go into labour’ and just have a little fun. So my husband stopped at one of the tents and bought some fire crackers and ground spinners as this was safe to enjoy and lit them up! The kiddies had a blast! But apparently Naseebah was having a blast in there as well, and decided she wanted to come out and see some fireworks too!
Went to sleep that night and at about 4:00am I woke up with cramps...oops! After a few minutes I realized I was definitely in labour, woke my husband and before we knew it we were off to the birthing centre to deliver our daughter. This was the first child to be delivered at a birthing centre (with an all female staff of midwives and doulas) and not at a private hospital. I have to say at this point that my delivery of Naseebah was an incredible experience. I didn’t scream, shout or even cry once!! My doula had me completely calm throughout the entire experience and I got to experience birth from an entirely different perspective…my delivery of Naseebah was a truly beautiful thing…
Although, the trauma came after…
When Naseebah came out she wasn’t crying, moving much or doing much of anything. I noticed a change on the midwife’s face as she quickly tried to rub her down, give her oxygen and get her to breathe properly. Finally she coughed up some fluid and started to cry a little. But something still wasn’t right…she couldn’t seem to catch her breath and was making a strange grunting noise. The midwife got on the phone immediately for a consult and shortly after this she and my husband rushed her to the NICU at the hospital that was one minute away…
I think I was numb at that point…felt frozen in time…as if the world was moving all around me and I was stuck ; watching as everything passed me by. I just clutched onto the very first little outfit she barely got a chance to wear and was completely intoxicated with her newborn scent. It was a red sleeper and I will never forget that colour because coincidently up till this day, red seems to still be Naseebah’s favorite colour. I couldn’t move…it was as if my body just gave up…a few incredible blessings were realized when we now think back to that devastating day.
Firstly, I was at a birthing centre and not at the hospital, so the midwives here were trained to not just look at the medical side of birth, but at the psychological and emotional ‘before and after’ events of a birth. They realized I was starting to withdraw and turn inward a bit …she made me focus and pep-talked me right back to reality and reminded me to be strong for my little Naseebah because she needs her mummy to be strong right now. I think that did it for me! It was as if energy just suddenly got sucked back into me. Alhamdulillah I started willing myself to eat and drink as much as I could and could feel my strength coming back. My doula literally spoon-fed me back to normalcy and I was ready to go to the NICU and see my little bundle.
The second blessing was that this was the first birth we decided to do at a natural birthing centre and not a hospital. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and as such, I believe that Allah(swt) put this idea in our heads for a reason… for it was our very location that may very well have saved our daughters life! Our birthing centre was one minute away from the best and most equipped NICU in Trinidad. It was the one that all babies in distress get shipped to on that part of the country, no matter what private hospital they were born at. When I finally got a chance to speak to my husband via cellphone, he said they had Naseebah stable at the NICU, her breathing was still erratic but that she was clam. He also mentioned that she was getting worse on the way to the NICU!!! Well THANK ALLAH we were only one minute away!
I NEEDED to see her at that point… the thought of leaving her in this strange place overnight scared me to death for I have never spent a night away from my children; with the exception of going to the hospital to give birth to one of their siblings. It was time to figure out what happened. What went wrong?!? This was a perfect pregnancy, a calm and quick delivery and a beautiful, big, healthy, pink baby girl! Why couldn’t she breathe??
When my parents arrived at the birthing centre with my four little sons, they were all so excited to meet their baby sister. Their presence gave me strength that I didn’t think I was capable of at that moment. I was desperate not to worry them and the ‘mummy’ came out in me again...Thank Allah! I told them, “Baby Naseebah was born and the doctor helped take her out of my belly (pressed my clothing to show them that my belly was now flat), but the doctor carried her for a little while to check her and make sure she’s healthy and strong before she comes home inshaa Allah. She very pink and sooo pretty!” The little ones found that soo exciting and couldn’t wait to meet her, but my eldest son still has memories of his youngest brother Muadh coming home from the hospital and is very close and protective of him….he knew something was just not right….it was obvious that he could sense something odd about this whole situation...
My parents drove me to the NICU which was an unfortunate dose of added physical agony, as I could feel every bump on the road on the way to the NICU; the MAJORITY of bumps being on the entrance road to the maternity hospital!!! More disappointing that usual for a public hospital!
Upon arrival, my husband’s immediate family were already there waiting outside the NICU for news on baby Naseebah. May Allah(swt) bless them…Ameen. My husband came up to me with a jacket I didn’t recognize, as I remember thinking and feeling guilty for thinking at that very moment, “waw he looks really dreamy in that jacket”. He helped me out of the car and having just given birth he had to kind of hold me up and escort me to the NICU. My heart felt like bursting out of my chest! I NEEDED TO SEE HER! FINALLY they were ready to let us in and we rushed in. My little fighter had tubes everywhere and was breathing with her belly instead of her chest. It just broke my heart…so irritated, so helpless and still so ‘PINK’ is how we both still remember her back at the NICU days. The doctors had diagnosed her with possible pneumonia which may have been contracted while in the womb. That didn’t really seem possible, but it was the only diagnosis that fitted the symptoms at the time. They started her on antibiotics, mild oxygen support and IV fluids for nutrition. We felt so helpless seeing her like that…
They still needed to rule out any internal physical problems, couldn’t get the x-ray done yet. Why?? Well because it was raining and they couldn’t bring the machine across from the next building! Well you could only imagine how irritated we were at that point! That was the most backward thing we had ever heard, but we just had to endure the long uninformed sitting and waiting in the NICU waiting room. We kept asking and no one would tell us what was going on. We even had one nurse tell us “Well what you see is what’s going on”. I’m sorry, but am I a doctor??!?? How the heck am I supposed to know if she is okay?!? The bedside manner was aweful those first two days, with the exception of a few kind nurses who were kind enough to a least smile at us and show us the rounds, lactation room and procedure to expressing milk, etc.
BUT imagine waiting hours and hours to find out how your baby is doing and having the doctor tell you in an ARROGANT and almost shouting voice that they have no time for you right now, to wait until they have some time, and to wait by the baby’s bedside right now because they have important paperwork to do! WELL my husband nearly pulled his hair out and practically begged the woman to just tell us if she is doing better or doing worst…JUST TELL US SOMETHING! But no, she repeated arrogantly to go back and wait. What’s even worse is that we went back to wait and then that horribly insensitive doctor left the compound without saying a word to us.
So we waited hours and hours again. I started using the lactation room to express milk for my little Naseebah. We were determined to make sure I stayed on a healthy diet and express colostrum as regularly as possible to ensure that my milk came in by the time she was ready to feed, God Willing! My husband made sure I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner on time and only healthy snacking and punches in between meals. FINALLY the head of the NICU arrived and we were finally able to get a sit down with her. Her bedside manner and basic humanity was however WELL-INTACT! She answered all of our questions and took the time give us a proper explanation of what happened to our little bundle.
Apparently, I had what was called a ‘preciptuous birth’; where the time between the first contraction and delivery was less than three hours. This on its own, while rare, is not necessarily a bad thing. But sometimes, like with a c-section, 1% of newborns get what is called TTN, where they don’t get the normal squeeze they need during the birthing process. This causes the lungs to stay filled with fluids. It usually resolves within 24-48 hours, but sometimes requires a little medical assistance. They also started her on antibiotics as a precaution for the initial pneumonia diagnosis. This was a HUGE relief…the xray had come back clear and on the third day the blood tests were clear for any signs of infection. Alhamdulillah!! We were finally able to hold her and I got to breastfeed her, change her and cradle her. She was sooooooo soft and tiny and beautifulJ
We were back and forth at the hospital every three hours over the next couple days to feed her and change her. Leaving her at 10:00pm to go home was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. My husband DID NOT want to leave her there!!! It absolutely broke his heart to leave her that first day we got to hold her…
As much as we enjoyed having that freedom to be with her as much as we needed, I really really missed my little sons. I missed feeding them, bathing them and telling them their bedtime story. My parents had completely taken over with the kids so that we could be there 100% for Naseebah. May Allah(swt) protect and reward them immensely!!Ameen! I asked my mom one night on the way home from the NICU to keep the kids awake for us. I really needed to spend some time with my children… We stopped off at the grocery and got a big box of chocolates to surprise them. As soon as we pulled into the driveway we saw four little heads bobbing by the front door and window. They were all so excited! We gave them the good news that Naseebah would be coming home in one or two days. They were all completely ecstatic! We were finally starting to feel like a family of seven!!!
The final day was perhaps the most memorable… we had gotten some hope from one of the inside doctors that this would be the day our daughter would get discharged and would be returned to us. When we arrived and I finished feeding her, the doctors were about to start doing their rounds and parents were not allowed inside the NICU during this time. This usually took a really long time, so we decided to go to a nearby Panini café to celebrate while the doctors did their thing;)
My husband treated me to some tea and a crepe wrap; the wrap included whipped cream, strawberries, banana slices and chocolate syrup!! YUMMMMMMM! Soooo good! When we were almost finished eating, my mom called us all frantic and worried saying that the hospital just called home to find out where we were. Well I don’t think I ever stuffed a meal down so quickly!!! We jumped into the car and rushed back to the hospital! Upo arrival the nurse at the desk was smiling and asked us if we were ready to leave. “With the baby?!!??” I asked feeling like I was about the burst. She replied in the affirmative and I just couldn’t contain it!! My smile almost ripped my face open!lol! I called my mom immediately because I knew she would be having a panic attack worrying why the hospital was trying to call.
We got to dress her and change her, they filled out the forms and we were off!!! She was all ours!!! Sleeping contently in her little pink car seat all the way home…Alhamdulillah….
Her brothers were completely overjoyed!!! Even down to my youngest son treats her so gently like the little jewel that she is…We love you baby Naseebah…
Welcome home….:)